The miracle solution that doesn’t work

14 maart 2019

How do you convince someone?


If you're like most people, the answer will probably be something like: "I'll explain the person clearly what it's about. When they understand, they'll be convinced"


But what if that doesn’t work?

How often have you felt like the other person just doesn't understand what you're saying?

That you're good idea gets wiped off the table, just like that.


What happened there?


You only addressed one part of the person you were trying to convince.

The rational part.


And no matter how much you would like people to think that people are rational.

Should be rational.

They're not. Not as much as you would like them to be.


People are first and foremost emotional beings.


Our emotions are our GPS in life. (link to The worst advice you can give)

And we might not always use them in the best way (more on that another time).

But we have emotions, all the time, and they do impact us.

In everything we do.


So your brilliant rational exposé is not the miracle solution you'd like it to be.


If you want to convince someone of something, you have to take into account their emotional side as well.

If you've explained something (often multiple times) and they don't understand, chances are they don't want to understand.

Not because they're bad people.

But because they don't feel safe with what you're proposing.


"What about my job? Will I still have a job."

"Why does he always have to come with these clever ideas. People will start thinking I'm the stupid one."

"Show-off. If it was so much better in your previous company, you should have stayed there."

"We've tried that already. It didn't work. I'm not going to waste my time on that again. I have enough to do as it is."


People don’t get convinced by your smart explanation.

They get convinced when you make it safe for them to be convinced.


Safety first - always.

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