Uncomfortable giving compliments?

06 mei 2019

I was raised in a compliments-free zone. 

We focused on what wasn't good enough instead.

So it has taken me years to become comfortable with compliments.

But I've seen how genuine praise can make all the difference in a relationship.

How it brings warmth and connection. How it makes others feel safe around you.

I love praising people now.

Still feel a bit icky receiving though - unless it's done in a very specific way.

And if you're a bit uncomfortable giving compliments, this can make you feel better too:

1. be very specific about what you liked: don't just say "you were great in the meeting" or "well done" - say "I loved how you took that difficult question from the customer, and answered it in such a practical way" or "I like how you've been speaking to everyone on the project team".

2. then add what the specific positive impact was: "you've put the customer at ease, and ensured that we could close the deal" or "you've made the progress meetings much shorter and more effective".

Can you see how these two simple steps take away any risk of not being authentic (the biggest fear for most of us), that there is no way you can be "over the top" when you make it specific in 2 steps

• what specifically did the person do

• what specifically was the positive impact of doing this

It makes it easy to give genuine compliments. And to receive them.

Give it a try. Let me know how it works out for you.